HOW TO SURVIVE THE RECESSION: A not-so-serious guide to braving the USA's economic strategies

Obama is Back!
I really wanted the democrats to win. (Stop the Closet-Republican Allegations!)
Ok fine. I really didn't care about the Presidential Elections. (Even though it's cool to watch the debates and have an opinion on it nowadays).
But what I do care about, is if this is going to impact employment. Everyone is sick of this stupid recession/economic downturn. I miss the days the SENSEX was in the twenty thousands. Those days, I wanted to be a stock broker. Now, tragically, I'm to be a lawyer.
Which brings me back to the job search scene. WHY ARE THERE NO JOBS! Everyone's coming back home from all the cool places they were. And everyone who's traveling abroad for a job is probably fucked thanks to the tightened VISA regulations. Therefore, I have for you, wait-for-it... *drumroll*...

JOB SEARCH STRATEGIES

Sandwich Board

You should parade around with a sandwich board that spells out your qualifications. For example the main the picture. DON'T DO IT IF YOU'RE A LAWYER OR AN INVESTMENT BANKER. No. Seriously. Someone might shoot you.

Apply for a Human Resources Job
They have to be recruiting to reject all those applications.

Sell what people want
I'm not encouraging the illegal sale of Weed and Sex. At least not directly. Oh. OH. You could move to Washington or Colorado.

Start a Suicide Helpline for the Unemployed
Lot's of demand. Do the world some good. I'm sure the unemployed will at least pay for it with food.

Barter System
There was nothing wrong with the state of nature. When you can't buy what you want/need- it's time to exchange.

Be an Entrepreneur
In this economy? Who am I kidding?

Employment Lawyer
Best business to be in, in the United States. Not in India. Duh.

Civil Services in a Social Welfare State
If you ever pass the exam, that is. I have a sneaky suspicion, they draw lots to decide who passes this year.

Book-Cooking Expert
Really needed right now.

Cook-from-Home
Fewer licenses required. And everyone eats when stressed.

Stay at Home and Make Babies
Isn't that what the men always wanted? You can pass the blame. :D

Or you could go ahead and get yourself a dead end job. Like I will. Before I switch to staying at home and making babies. Maybe. Scratch that. Probably.
Teehee!

Redefining Epic

I've been having a bad run lately. Everyone's luck runs out. Thankfully, mine is like those rechargeable batteries. So the plan is to lie low till then.
But this is about something else.

I didn't come to Law School with a plan. I'm not even Mojo Jojo with ambitions to takeover/destroy the world. But you could definitely categorize me as ambitious. Ok. I'll admit it. Maybe sometimes even cut throat bitch. The tragedy of my generation is that nobody can be epic anymore. I'll give you a few examples-

A] THE GUY WHO SKYDIVED FROM THE EDGE OF SPACE
After skydiving from 24 miles off the earth's surface (while marketing Red Bull) Felix Baumgartner, like a real  boss, tweeted- "I just jumped from space, what did you do today".

Thanks for making me feel lame Baumgartner. Get me some Redbull, I need the wings so I don't die when I jump off terrace in my law firm office.

B] THE GUY WHO MADE A YOUTUBE VIDEO AND GOT TO FLAG OFF A GRAND PRIX
Psy. His name is not even a complete syllable. But he danced like a maniac in a video and then had the entire West Indies team dance like that on winning the World Cup, flagged off the Korean Grand Prix and then danced with the Secretary General of the UN. Come on.

C] JUSTIN BIEBER
His net worth is 110 million USD according to Wikipedia. How did that happen?

D] THE GUY WHO HAD THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD
Ben Southall got to be the caretaker of the islands of the Great Barrier Reef while being treated like a king for six months. 'Nuff said.

This is the world rejecting nerds. It's got to be.

PS- if you're still not feeling bad enough- SEE http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/10/amazing-child-prodigy-ast_n_1870865.html

The Fake LV Phenomenon

I'm a Bombay girl who grew up around Juhu. Before you start stereotyping me and judging me, I should tell you that this post is essentially to stereotype and judge other women. So you can go right ahead :D

I was at Istanbul airport for a stop over a few weeks ago. Traveling alone, I had nothing to do but stare at everyone who passed me buy. I habitually check women out, so that was how i was passing time. What was glaringly obvious (so much so that I can't even say that i observed the trend or even noticed it) was that EVERY third woman was carrying a Louis Vuitton bag. Now either the whole world has gotten loaded without me noticing while i was worrying about recession, or thanks to the People's Republic of China, we have a slew of fakes. I'm betting on the latter.
On returning home and generally finding the time to facebook stalk my classmates from once-upon-an-era, I noticed that it wasn't just Istanbul. It was all of Bombay too.
Because i had nothing to do for several days but to stare into empty space, i theorized about WHY you would want to carry an LV, original or otherwise. especially since those bags are seriously over priced. I mean, buy yourself a bunch of pretty bags off ASOS. Why just one bag with that HIDEOUS monogram?

I'm going to proceed to make a list of the various kinds of women who would carry one. Fake or otherwise.

1) The Job Profile-r
These are the socialites and actresses and those under media glare who are just expected to flaunt these brands. Some of them get it right. Most of them get it wrong. But they're essentially showing that they'll invest in fashion because it's an important element to their job profile.

2) The Ladies Who Lunch
These are the women who pretend to be friends to meet occasionally at expensive restaurants only to eat miniscule meals just so they can show off how rich their husbands are and how they're buying their wives extremely expensive things to save their marriages. An LV is essential for survival in this scenario. However, one isn't enough. There need to be multiple. The smart ones buy smart knock offs.

3) The College Crowd
I'd say it was the Gossip Girl effect. But if it were then the bags would be better than ugly LVs. However, it's cool to be rich. And owning an LV makes you look rich. This is the category where fakes are most prevalent. I'm sure these women think it ups their fashion quotient but to True Seers, it's a massive FAIL.

4) The Marriage Market
Rich boys look for rich girls. Rich girls carry LVs. Period. Suitcases Also.

5) The Vanity Watchers
This is essentially a subset of the college crowd. These women don't really have a social life. Don't even attend parties or social gatherings with loaded people to attract rich men or anything. But they need to buy one. To please their vanity. Pointless. No, really.

6) The Helplessly Unaware
Then of course there are aunties who don't even know it's the LV monogram and buy the cheap knock offs off the street without intending to project any image at all.

The problem with this phenomenon is that it's making the world ugly. I'd say it's just a reflection of how fashionably unaware Indians generally are. It's a vicious cycle. The purpose is to always show it off and it's the only one easily recognizable. Make it stop. Make it STOP. 

Relationships in College: A Superficial Survey

Indian Residential Colleges are a unique experience.

Mid Way through, I will recommend that everyone should have had this experience.

This is simply because living in a Hostel will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Believe me.

Today's post is a simple discussion on one aspect of Hostel Life. Dating.

An average Law Schoolite will have been in college when he was between 18 and 23 years of age. Incidentally, in my opinion, these are the times when you really really want some.

Or, if you're the cheeseball type, you're looking for love.

So, you're either going to be dating or looking. Or you're just pathetically assexual.

I have particularly noticed the following types of relationships in Law School-

1) The Happily Ever After Couple

Every batch has one of these. They fall in love early in college. First year, first or second trimester and stay in love. They get married as soon as they pass out. And every time you see them, you know they are meant to be.

2) The Forever Fighting Couple

They are the couple that last a while. A year or two. But EVERYONE knows when they're fighting. And they're fighting all the time. Everywhere. Very Very Loudly. And let's just not talk about the constantly changing relationship status.

3) The Disgusting- I-Can't-Keep-My-Hands-Off-You Couple

Their love (or lust) has an obvious physical manifestation for you to see. So they'll make out. Whenever they can. Or do other sick things. And almost don't care at all about who's around.

4) The We're-Best-Friends Couple

Of Course, they're dating. They just don't want it to be "official". Or don't want to acknowledge it. Popularly, you can tell when the boy chooses lines like "Behen jaisi hai yaar". Or if the girl will blush and giggle and say "He's not my type, yaaaaar." Of course they want to bang. Who are we kidding?

5) The Transition Couple

 This can be pinned onto any one person in the couple rebounding from a previous relationship. The other is usually hopelessly in love. Short lived. Ends Bitterly.

6) The Long Distance Relationship

 It even sounds scary. This is generally one person in college. In a relationship with his/her phone. You see he/she extra happy a few times a year. When going home and when the boyfriend/girlfriend comes to visit.

7) The Junior Girl Senior Boy Couple

The intricacies of this kind of couple are hard to understand. Obviously the boy is picking a younger kid who matches his requirements because she's an easier catch. But they tend to last long.

8) The Junior Boy Senior Girl Couple

Simply put, COUGAR ALERT.

9) The CheeseBalls

This is the couple, so much in love that they find it absolutely necessary to sit by each other and hold each other's hands even in class. After the honeymoon period. And they must have profile pictures cuddling each other. And they must eat every meal together. Both individuals involved generally lose their personal identity and take on the identity of being The Couple.

10) The He/She's Too Good For Me Couple

This is neither love nor lust. Just worship. Or obsession. One party is known to lose all sense of self respect in order to keep the relationship going. 

11) The Normal Couple

N/A. If you find one, do point them out to me. 

Happy Dating!

PS- there is no homosexual couple listed here because we're still far to conservative for that. Of course the fake ones exist in the hostels. But, you know they're fake. What's the point?
PPS- That was post no. 100. Yayieeeeee!!!!