So the other day, I was talking to this friend of mine about my life back in Bombay. And telling him about all my friends.
Of course there's nothing extraordinary about that. But then he asked me THAT question.
"Why are all your best friends boys?"
No one ordinarily analyzes who their best friends are and why. But this question put me in a position to think about it.
Why are all my best friends boys?
And then came the epiphany. Women are all terrible human beings. You can't differentiate the bitches from the women because there are NO OTHER WOMEN.
MY life’s greatest sorrow stems from my inability to feel close to other women. At 41, I’ve cautiously cultivated a few cherished female friendships. But generally I feel a kind of skittish distrust and discomfort when dealing with most women, particularly women in packs.
- Kelly Valen, available at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/fashion/02love.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3 (Last visited on December 5, 2010) [Thanks for the link, Chetna Kumar]
*Legal Citation. Not doing it makes me feel a little incomplete now
And I'm not the only one in the world who thinks so!
I mean. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for "Boys are Stupid. Throw Rocks at Them". In fact, I emphatically believe that "All Boys are Monsters. Closet or Otherwise."
But those are the Boyfriends (Currently dating/Ex/Potential/I-wish-he-were). The Boy Friends are Awesome.
They ALWAYS spare you the drama. And don't rip you into teeny tiny shreds.
Women, on the other hand, just offer poor quality friendship. I mean, one minute you're the shrieking-in-a-public-place-and-hugging friend and the next minute you're the-whore-who-thinks-she's-god's-gift-to-mankind.
I mean. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
They're friends with you to steal your boyfriend or to hook up with your friend or to be able to borrow your stuff or to raise their social capital or something or the other that's worldly, materialistic and pathetic. And how can I forget the cut throat competition to be friends with the Queen Bee?
You might as well take the easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy way out and be friends with men. Because all men are nice. Its almost like Sesame Street.
(See also Dick Masterson, Women with Male Friends are Delusional, MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN, available at http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/women-with-male-friends-are-delusional/ (Last visited on December 5, 2010).
So,
On performing a cost-benefit analysis, I concluded that it's okay if I have no Maid of Honour (Or whatever the Gujju wedding version of that is). I'll still have that wedding picture which I can title: Me and My Boys. My husband can deal with it.
PS- Law School is making me cite everything. No Fun. FML. I'm considering captioning all pictures now. Except i get them off google images and its damn tedious to discover the True Source.
PPS-I think i use the phrase "i mean" too much. You think?
PPS- For an alternative opinion, see also Varun Srikanth, OBSCURA, available at http://ezkaton.wordpress.com/2010/11/30/797/ (Last visited on December 5, 2010).
13 comments:
Eh? How was Varun's post about "the stupidity of women"? I always thought the comedy in Jon Lajoie's piece was contained in his lampooning of stupid misogynists who don't see women as people. (Obviously not all men are like that by a long shot but poking fun at the guys who are is fine by me.)
And Dick Masterson? Are *you* serious? Or have I stumbled on a parody here? If so, I can't praise you enough for your very realistic depiction of the kind of dreary woman who hates her own gender and prefers to invest her time in kissing male butt.
Personally, I value all my buddies regardless of whether they have a cock or not so I find it odd that your male friends haven't called you out on your sexism. After all, they enjoy your company and you're a woman, right?
Hello Colin.
I thought Varun's post addressed a similar question. It needn't be offering the same answer :)
Its an observation. If you look at the Dick Masterson link- you'll get the parody in it.
And I acknowledge that this piece sounded like a dreary woman looking to kiss male butt. But think about it.
Or ask your female friends. Especially if any one of them ever went to a girls school. Its very very difficult for a woman to trust another woman if she sees her as a competitor.
A girl will always have her BFF. He one girl who she says everything to. But woman screw each other over too often for them to trust each other.
It doesn't speak of how much I value my buddies, especially those without male genitalia. It only points out the fact that given a situation where a girl has to choose between her female best friend and her male best friend, she will ALWAYS pick the boy.
Its almost like a truism.
Honorable people would credit me for providing the inspiration and the 'legal citation'. Ahem.
^is that meant for me? :O
:P
todearblogger
i read all your posts burning midnight oil....previous posts of yours had an continuation or some link between two posts...there was something called soul in your previous posts...
have u become emotionally weak these days .....you like the feeling that your posts are good.
Hello Unsubscribe :)
Everyone loves the feeling that their posts are good :) I especially do.
Emotional Weakness is a Possibility.
I go to Law School.
Its quite harsh around here.
Its odd you're the second person to point that out to me.
An anonymous person commented something along these lines as well?
You really think so?
If you do, you should tell me why...
Thanks for the concern. <3
Niya
and I wonder, why is my best friend a girl?
It seems the other side of the fence is always green, owing to the boundaries set by the fence. Crossing over breaks the illusion.
And about that 'I think'? As the judge.
And referencing (citation) is good, maybe you could put it in hyperlink texts.
Nice read, and I like the tagline of your blog.
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
Thank You :)
Come by again.
and yes, the grass is always greener on the other side.
That's why the tagline also.
Doesnt it feel nice to learn that even Anonymous persons are showing concern. Thats the beauty of life u noe.U always know whom u r prayin for, but whos prayin for u??Remains a secret.
In ur words,
Love n all that:)
a) It feels fantastic that somebody reads what you write about.
b) Its even better to know that they care. Because its just so easy to assume that no one does.
<3
Love and All That.
Plus Many thanks for the prayers.
Niyati
I love this post! MY feelings about this are the same :)
It's such a great feeling when you find someone who thinks the same way as you.
:)
Thank You Kanika :)
Right?
I <3 the small world feeling.
Now this was a an awesome post...m sure everyone could so much connect to it...we all have some things presumed about the people we like and at times we do categorize them acc to there sex...now this is good... :)
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