Real India. Huh?

You know what really really amuses me?
Goras in India and their idea of what India is.
See, when goras are abroad, they think India is this mystic land of culture and traditions that are essentially really really weird. SO they believe we travel via elephant and we eat on leaves and wear really odd clothing.
Goras, unlike us Indians, also believe in the entire "experience" when they travel. So it's not about sightseeing, it's about living that country.
I completely love that idea and try to do as much of that as i can when I travel. But the mistaken conceptions they harbour when they come to India are just downright hilarious.
I mean, have you seen those loose culottes/harem pants/dhoti pants that they wear with weird designs and mantras on them? Or the random use of the bindi. And the worst is when they try to wear a saree or a salwar kameez.
I mean, do you see our men in kilts in Scotland?
NO.
I just faiil to understand why they dress like that.
And then they try to eat and drink wherever we do and then complain about food poisoning. You can't handle it. We told you so. Let's get you some electral now.
I mean, Real India isn't about mysticism. It isn't about fake sadhus. It is NOT about yoga. And we do speak English. It's what's sold to them. And that's how they're easy to con.
True Story.
Maybe Lonely Planet should do a disclaimer piece on that.
Really.

The Economics of Love

Assumption No. 1: Love actually exists
Assumption No. 2: People actually love each other in Law School.

So, if you've read this blog regularly, you'll have picked up by now that Law School is a BAD BAD place. Full of BAD BAD people. Mean, materialistic, malicious men (and women. oh no. especially women) who malign.
let's leave out categorizing me as this is my blog.
so a year ago, this first year came up to me as she had been assigned the topic "Economic Analysis of Relationships at NLS" for her Economics 1 Research Paper. Gossip being a subject of expertise for yours truly, i was pleased to oblige.
So i explained to her how people here only associate themselves with others if they see a certain level of utility. always reaching out for something but have egos so inflated that they want it to appear as though they are settling.
So what are the considerations:
a) financial
there are people who want the boyfriend to afford them a lifestyle
there are people who want their boyfriend to afford their own lifestyle
there are people who steal to afford their boyfriend's company
b) academic benefit
People date to gain access to notes
people date to gain access to an awesome co author for papers
People date brainiacs because they have a considerable level of respect in law school
c) social standing
People date so other people begin to acknowledge their existence
People date so they can appear to be the "cool" dating type
People date people with a greater social standing (eg. seniors) to gain those levels themselves
d) company
a boyfriend ensures you are never friendless and always have something to do
a boyfriend ensures stability

as the marginal utility of the person decreases, relationships break up and people move on to a more economically appropriate choice.
True Story.

For more information, look up:  http://www.theeconoflove.blogspot.com/

i'm gujarati. What do you expect?

That translated reads: We charge 1 rupee for filling air.

in my first year of law school we had an alcoholics anonymous orientation.
obviously. that is essential if you go to a school like this in a city practically owned by Vijay Mallya and United Breweries.
But that's not the point.
the point is that one of the slides we were shown had a line
An excuse for drinking: "I'm Punjabi, what do you expect?"
That coupled with how regionalism comes naturally to me, i always flaunted my gujarati-ness.
So the traits I take for granted as a result of being Gujarati are:
1) Money
i can count it. I can make it. I can spend it only on myself. True story.
But no, my father is not a diamond merchant. And i don't own a helicopter.
2) Dhokla
I don't eat dhokla and thepla for every meal. But yes, my mom sends it in stock as substitute for meals when I can't stand south indian food.
3) Details
in born business acumen. Exists.
4) Bombay
ofcourse it's different from Maharashtra. We just don't care enough to fight with Thackeray about it. There's a reason Bombay High Court functions in Gujarati.
5) communalism
Why deny. we don't want to kill. that's just modi. we just judge. Ofcourse you can be a customer.
6) Dandiya
My dancing skills go beyond dandiya. Believe it.

NO. My family is nothing like the K serials.

Why Not?

Disclamer: This isn't supposed to be an inspiring post which tells you to "never say NO'. (obviously the exception to that inspiring line is "Say NO to drugs", but everyone forgets that)

I mean when the universe showers you with crap, it always rains dog poop.
seriously.
I'm now back at Law School. Again. Unreformed. And therefore I am yet again cool challenged.
It's true. When I ask people to tell me cool things, they say "fridge, ice, winter, cooler, refrigerator,...". Just imagine my plight.
I'm also poor. It is one another reason why i hate juniors. Too expensive. You always have to treat them.
And I am now in my third year here. Which means dinosaurs for teachers. Or the most boring, pointless, procedure based courses that are impossible to pass. In addition to that I have the uphill task of raising my grades before me. *Sigh*

I have such cool friends back home. They party and party and party some more and do exciting courses in exciting places in the world and do exciting people. Nobody lives in Nagarbhavi. The land of the RSS. It's true. I've been chased for frequenting the chai-wala with the same boy. And nobody wears pretty clothes. :(

So now when even more crap happens I choose to tell myself, why not? How much crappier can it get. And believe me, it always surprises me :)

You should have expected a whiny post after such a long break.
Don't Lie.

Practice + Preach + Propagate

No. The sky doesn't look like that from my terrace.

Hello Boys and Girls :)
I'm in a preachy mood today. My preach isn't the must- most not type. More the, I theorized when I had an idle mind and think I should share my conclusions type.
Therefore, here goes

Theory 1:
Women bond with other women over a common enemy.
Believe me.
Everybody knows that the clothes, shoes, hot men and chick flicks is frivolous.
What keeps them together?
a) A woman must always thing that the other woman is better than her. When both parties think so about each other, there is a mutual respect created and that alone can keep the friendship going. It's not an appreciation thing. It's a she is showoff-able and might-be-useful-to-me-someday thing.
b) What do women do together which involves conversation? Gossip. The mean, bitchy kind.
What can they bitch about consistently over a period of time? A common enemy. Generally another woman or other women they know. Now the catch is that this common enemy cannot be someone they don't consider as an equal. They should always be able to hold up the garb of criticism. Ergo, this common enemy should be an equal.
It's true. No woman likes more than 2 or 3 other women who she isn't related to and HAS to like. Mostly frivolous.

Theory No. 2
There is a thick defined line between friends and acquaintances.
So I've been accused of thinking not very highly of friendships. But it's actually reverse. I think very highly of friendships and so very very very few people are slotted as friends. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. It's true. We've all established in our lives that most people should not and cannot be trusted. And this becomes a very shaky concept especially for extroverts. Therefore. Keep it simple. Remember: Nobody cares. Except someone tried and tested. Therefore friendships resealed with an apology after a massive breakdown are the strongest.

On a completely unrelated note
and a much happier one
Have you EVER professed affections for someone you don't know has reciprocal feelings?
The butterflies. Are. INSANE.
Try it some time.
And don't tell me you're a chauvinist pig or an old school girl who believes it's a boy's job.
Go out there. Do your thing man.
Chill a little bit.
<3

Long-ish blogpost after a long long time. I was on the terrace (staring at the stars of course) and felt this urge to blog and impart my wisdom. Teehee. :D
Maybe it's just my Land Law exam tomorrow. And that thing about the Land Acquisition Act that just can't keep me hooked. I mean , seriously? I know farmer disputes are heartbreaking. But I really don't care about the digitization of the Land Revenue System in Karnataka. I'm a Bombay Presidency person who'll have to learn it all over again, ANYWAY.
Stupid federal system and state list subjects.
Ooops! Legal Jargon.

OkayMustPassBye.

PS- Home in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I need answers.

I love abstractions.
And easy answers.
I love theory.
And criticizing.
And questions. That can't be answered. It's a Humanities thing. :D

But now I'm at Law School. I clearly don't fit.
so,
Answer my questions. Or leave them hanging. Nobody cares :)

1. Why can't I recognize myself in pictures sometimes?
2. How can my teacher answer those questions I ask that I don't understand myself?
3. When is it true love if infatuation feels most like it?
4. How can some words be enough to be long sentences without a verb? What happened to Grammar?
5. How can it classify as poetry if it doesn't rhyme?
6. Do most people find it hard to draw a line between hunger and boredom?
7. Dude. Complan boy really wasn't that cute. Was he really Shahid Kapur?
8. Isn't it really hard sometimes to tell whether something someone said was a compliment or an insult?
9. Chick Lit cures everything. Have they tested if it cures Cancer?
10. Were you ever able to colour within the lines?

Bimbo.

I'm not a very short tempered person. 

I can keep my cool even when things really bother me.

Put up a facade of amusement and all that.

But there are certain things that are just so ridiculously annoying i want to grab the person by the collar, ram his head into the wall and then set him on fire and watch him burn.

Really.

One of those things is people calling me stupid.

Especially because I'm really smart.

No. Really.

I go to NLSIU, Bangalore. And i got in on merit.

even if that were a fluke. I'm generally street smart too.

Let me tell you of some instances

Criminal Law II viva

My teacher generally takes my case a lot in class. only on grounds of random gossip. Small community and all that. 

So i walk in and he  asked me a couple of questions here and there.

after he was done, he asked

"what's your CGPA"

so i said,

5.3 sir.

So he says- "Wow. That's good for your batch"

With incredulity and all that!

I mean, seriously. Cut me some slack.

 

NLSMUN 2011

and then the time at NLSMUN

when i was on the executive board of a committee.

we were having a feedback session and i asked my delegates how i did.

and a couple of them say, 

"Chair, you look like a bimbo. Just don't talk like one."

Come on. Are you kidding me?

 

You're dumb if you think I'm a bimbo

But I've been told I should take it as a compliment.

Maybe it means I can be smart and not look like Nerdasaur.

:)

or maybe not.

*sigh*

I'll never know.