India is a funny place to live in. the extremes make it so. and so the whole world thinks ou're from this third world country where tigers are vegetarian because half the country is and you use elephants as a mode of transport :P
P.S- this piece is an unoriginal tribute to my beloved little corrupt country where nothing works without something criminal, inappropriate, sinful or immoral. so here goes-
Impeccable english. Absolutely impeccable.
Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.
and people even fall for this one.
i'm serious. there were many takers according to the shopkeeper.
Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....
haha! sorry. it's just funny.
Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
Why do you need to come of age to drink when you can drink child beer?
Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
do you understand?
Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.
A. You see when the British were ruling India, they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.
Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
rock on fai ba! a gujju play.
now, I'm scared.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians - it is a lot of hard work.
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians - it is a lot of hard work.
courtesy Keith D'souza(i didn't ask- but i'm not taking the credit either)-
pps- India is not a thirrd world country. it is one of the fastest growing economies of the world full of wonderful people and wonderful places. we are advanced. the dark ages have PASSED in our country as well. so please- GET OVER IT ALREADY.
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